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Of Opium Pipes and Video Game Consoles.
Workin' for a living like a king.
caudelac
Copied from One Post Wonder, which is not public:

Last year I had five. Five is a good number, a Dust to Dust number. A solid state number. And whaddya know, I even kept most of them. So let's try that again, plus one:

1. Make some small amount of money from something creative-- writing, illuminations, whatever.
2. No really, get Quintessence of Dust LLC incorporated.
3. Do Yoga or DDR more. This includes, necessarily, actually taking my advair every day.
4. Drastically reduce impulse purchases.
5. Organize Dat House like woah.
6. Less paying attention to devices, more paying attention to Baby.

Solid state, home slices. Also, I didn't include supporting B's writing this year, because it is not something I need to remember, or that I might not do. It is of ambient importance. Like dat baby.

Stupid devices.

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feels: okay okay

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caudelac
In which my husband published his story, Dakrah's Familiar, on Amazon. If you dig wizardly tales of wizards being wizardly, this might be your jam. If not, that's okay too. But I am very proud of him, ,and it is totally my jam.

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feels: good good

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caudelac
2014 Resolutions:

1) write something I care about besides Yuletide and DtD -- check. Also, didn't do Yuletide this year, so... yeah.
2) support B's writing and help him with a personal freelance website -- part the first, check. Part the second: in progress.
3) Incorporate Quintessence of Dust LLC (this is a gaming company for our IPs, mostly) -- not yet accomplished, though some steps taken.
4) Make changes to better support a) affording the life we want and b) not hating what I do. -- OMG SO ACCOMPLISHED.
5) Read more. -- check.

This is probably the best year I've had for resolutions, so I think 5 will be a good number when I make them in a few days.

Lessee... this year had new baby, new job, new state, brief apartment, new house, and all that comes with that. So glad to have the week off to be in FL with the parents, who are so glad to have all this baby time. Tomorrow, hopefully the weather will be nice enough to go to the beach.

A happy new year to all of you out there, and here.

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feels: content content

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caudelac
Child is now a couple days shy of 10 months, and is:

  • Cruising on furniture

  • Growing about 4 teeth

  • Babbling near-words

  • Able to say Dada, Mama, and Bop! The latter is mostly repeating us when we tap him on the nose.


And it is all still wonderful. Christmas with the In-Laws, then New Years with my folks in FL. I didn't rant here about the new house drama, but we're on the next to last (I hope) round of contractor work, after the plumbing, then the asbestos removal, then the waterproofing. Now it is just the drywall and floor repair, then the fixing of the concrete in the front where they did the plumbing stuff.

Fortunately, homeowners insurance is paying for most of this, but man will it be wonderful to have the bottom half of the house back.

And that's the news.

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feels: Content
hears: So Far Away // Carole King

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caudelac
I just reaslied I have a hard time typing "destroy". I always want to auto-type, "destory."

Probably because I type "story" a lot more often than I type "destroy."

Which is probably a good thing.

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feels: thoughtful thoughtful
hears: B and Baby watching "Blue Bloods" in the other room

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caudelac
So, my husband is also a writer, and a damn fine one. What he writes-- what he excels at-- is pure, wizardly fantasy, of a kind that you don't really see these days, unless its mixed up with a lot of dull, self-aggrandizing heroes or torture porn. Think Jack Vance without the misogyny, with a bit of Steven Brust. Now, the circles I know are all weird fantasy, urban stuff, lovecraft, or aggressively looking for (and rightly) works by and about women and people of color. Which I adore, because those are all my street.

But where does a white guy writing straight up, crazy arcane and erudite Fantasy go as far as markets these days? I know those places gotta be still out there.

Anyway, he has finished a story I love, and which reads extremely well, in spite of his giving in to the desire to drop in as many arcane, five dollar words as humanly possible (noumena? Really?). But dear lord, I don't know the last time I read a book written in the last decade where the magic actually felt like... wizardly? Arcane? The stuff of massive, obscure tomes and decrepit towers and yes. I think that people think, "oh god, there's tons of that already, and we know how that works," but I'm like... is there, really? Because if there is, please, for the love of all that's holy, point me to it!

(yes, this is a call for recommendations. Because really.)

(also also, yay new house!)

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feels: exasperated
hears: Something cool from Spotify.

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caudelac
I am doing the Clarion Write-a-Thon this year. I'd like your support, but if you don't wanna support me, there's lots of other awesome writers who would love to have your dollas. My goal is to finish 111 things-- whether chapters, short stories, poems, vignettes, whatever. I should post them somewhere when I'm done, huh? Maybe I'll do a self-published, "this is my brain on Clarion Write-a-Thon" antholimajigger.

Anyway, I already finished one weirdshit thing, at least for a first draft. It is a thing about a city, because I like to write about cities, and compulsion, and automatons.

Next, I am working on parts two and three of an epic poem (each part is One Thing), and a third novella in a trilogy that I did for Blogathon two years running. Y'know, thematic.

Then? Probably some more of the personal fairy tales that I started for my son, before he was born.

Y'know, we'll see.

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feels: bemused
hears: the washing machine going ker-chick, ker-chunk

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caudelac
The things in my head fit Diarlyand more than here, though I'm not really posting there either. My writing time I try to spend on the projects that are more Need and Have-to.

And I signed up for Clarion Write-a-Thon this year, which is something.See it here. I have Ideas and Desire now, which is more than I've had in a long time, so that's good.

Monster is big enough to sit up in my lap now, though he still needs some propping.

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feels: okay okay
hears: Never There // Cake

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caudelac
(via habiliments who was via ironed_orchid

Anyone who feels like it should post their ten most CRUCIAL CRUCIAL CRUCIAL-ASS movies, like the movies that explain everything about yourself in your current incarnation (not necessarily your ten favorite movies but the ten movies that you, as a person existing currently, feel would help people get to know you) (they can change later on obviously).


Hedwig and the Angry Inch
M (1931)
Ma Vie En Rose
Adam and Steve
Silence of the Lambs
Double Indemnity
Schindler's List
Legend (1984) (Original and Directors Cuts)
Dead Reckoning
V For Vendetta


If I could add more, it'd be things like Go, Amelie, 50 First Dates, Parenthood, and LA Story. I dropped Trainspotting from the list because I simply can't watch it right now, due to horrible crib death... I used to not care, but now I simply can't endure it.

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feels: reasonably ok
hears: Electric breast pump whirring

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caudelac
I like having a baby. I didn't necessarily think I would. I am a big fan of kids, rather less of babies. But this one is good, and makes me happy. Which probably has more to do with him being mine, than with him being a baby. And it is also exciting to watch him grow into different forms of baby-hood. Like a multi-form boss.

This form drools quite a lot.

It has been two months-- nine weeks in all, and it's difficult to remember that all the ways in which life is different are, indeed, going to stay different. But! I am in my element when things are changing. Not being in NC is good. Days are different and differentiated again, and that is good, and the things that I see and hear are more tangible these days, sinking in and settling with me beyond mere acknowledgement. Things resonate. It is a feeling I'd missed.

I like it here, in the city, in _a_ city, and everything tall and dark and lit up and down low all at once. I missed cities. It is like rubbing the circulation back into one's hands.

Yeah, yeah, we could raise our son here. Believe.

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be's: one step up from tenement towers
feels: happy happy
hears: song for shelter // Fatboy Slim, in head.

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caudelac
Home with the baby, watching Ru Paul's Drag Race: Untucked and Hunger Games, being a living vending machine, while B is out at a freelance thing.

Next friday, we move to Atlanta. Stressy, but good, I think. We have such friends and family there, and my in-laws are super delighted to have their grandson close. Now, we need a buyer for the house, which really shouldn't be hard, as wonderful as this house is.

Start new job the 7th, which gives me a week of unpacking time, and also pumping for storage. Whee!

Now, it is to not get dehydrated.

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feels: thirsty thirsty
hears: May the odds be ever in your favor.

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caudelac
Somehow, sleep dep and dedication to the care and maintenance of an otherwise helpless human being leads to much more mental fortitude and alertness than being pregnant did. And much, much less depression. Who knew!?

Recovery on other fronts is slower, but that's all right. Baby has clean bill of health all around, which is the very best thing. And his daddy is pretty much a glowing ball of happy. As am I.

chillax.

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feels: happy happy

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caudelac

William Miles Vance Stoddard
7lbs, 13 oz
9:34pm, 2/18/14
Cary NC

He is lovely, and maybe I get some sleeps now.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

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be's: 35.7392,-78.7839

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caudelac
Would be happier with waiting if the leave situation at my work were not so lame. I have 3 weeks. I could have another 3 unpaid, but can't afford that long off, so I'll be working remote instead. Neither cool or happy. Hopefully, the baby will be courteous, and thusly appear soonest.

It is to hope.

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feels: determined determined

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caudelac
I like to be snowed in with my husband. It is cozy and good. A little worrisome, what with my due date being Friday, but seems like baby is being good so far. Just typical wiggles and Braxton-Hicks.

Also, GOD I'd forgotten how badly done the RENT movie is.

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hears: RENT // Take me out tonight

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caudelac
Oh I am a great galumphing thing; beware lest I stomple you!

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feels: drained drained

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caudelac
I have friends who are still stuck on freeways in Atlanta this morning, from their attempts to get home yesterday. You see, ATL traffic is always bullshit; tolerating the foibles of people who don't know how to drive in snow is like introducing a fully laden camel to a deluge of straw. A bunch of them had to abandon cars on the freeway and walk home last night also.

On the other hand, tons of people, who are awesome, offered food, shelter, and warmth to friends of friends and strangers last night. Home Depot and target let people sleep in aisles, teachers stayed overnight with kids who were stranded.

So people are awesome, and icy roads are bullshit.

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feels: worried worried

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caudelac
And suddenly, she had gone from an A cup to a D cup. Whut.

Pregnancy is weiiiiird.

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feels: bouncy bouncy

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caudelac
Tomorrow is my last day in the office for the duration of my pregnancy. Working from home after that until I go into labor. The only problem with which is that boy, do my devs find it easy to ignore me when I'm asking things on chat. Frustrating.

I am looking forward to being able to take ritalin again, you don't even know.

Baby is looking forward to being out and in the world, pretty darn clearly. But, well...

patience in all things; something both he and I should internalize mo' betta.

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6 sayings or Learn to say the same thing.
caudelac
Braxton-Hicks = contraction-like thing which make you feel as though your stomach is going to crystallize into a bowling ball and fall off of the front of you any moment. Usually combined with feet in the ribs or kidneys, and your lungs not knowing which end is up.

Real contractions, I understand, involve your lower back deciding it hates you and wants to evacuate your soul as well. Looking forward to it!

Also, I debated resolutions and things. I usually name the year, which has been a harder thing, as I don't use a paper planner anymore. Oh tech: the things we love, and the things we lose. But this year... I don't know. I think I will hold on until there is Baby. But anticipating a Year of Nesting seems not imprudent.

Do I have resolutions? I don't know. Well, let's try:

1) write something I care about besides Yuletide and DtD
2) support B's writing and help him with a personal freelance website
3) Incorporate Quintessence of Dust LLC (this is a gaming company for our IPs, mostly)
4) Make changes to better support a) affording the life we want and b) not hating what I do.
5) Read more.

I think that's good. Five is a good Dust to Dust number.

Also: OH MY RIBS.

Shalom.

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feels: exhausted exhausted

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caudelac
It is 1 month til my due date. You know. Prop bet time.

Also, Iron Edda: War of Metal and Bone went live today.

If it gets enough cash, I am writing an edition for the WaRP system as a stretch goal. Yeah buddy!

Oof, baby is grumpy and settly, and the things that might be contractions? are long and oofy. I somehow don't think we'll be waiting much longer. :P

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feels: calm calm

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caudelac
I had an introspective and matterly post which got eaten by my work's propensity to lose internet at the lamest times.

Oh well. I guess it wasn't that important anyway.

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caudelac
We gets to work from home today
As the cold in the north
Has frozen the internet
At the place of business.

This means blankets and cats and husbands and staged code,
And tea for me! And cooking chili!
And better times.

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feels: thankful thankful

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caudelac
For yuletide I wrote a game-format Fallen London fic called Seducing a Certain Delicious Prospect. When I write fic about games, for the most part I like to use the format in question, so next time I offer Fallen London, I should recall that I will generally insist on coding the damn thing. This being the second time, really. :P

Either way, it was a lot of fun and bears, and yay. Today, B and I are watching Lord of the Rings marathon of the extended versions, and I am thinking of writing or painting but have no specific thing I wish most to do. So... perhaps a little illumination. We shall see!

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feels: relaxed relaxed

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caudelac
Let's see.

I got married in January, to shieldhaven. This was very very good. We went to Venice and Rome. That was also good.

I did a tarot reading which suggested I would discover I was pregnant in June.

Lo, I discovered I was pregnant in June.

I changed jobs at the beginning of 2013, then again in May. Uptrades, mostly, each time.

I wrote very little, though gaming has been much more of a Thing. We completed another season of Dust to Dust. I started a new Eclipse character.

We bought a house in July.

Shieldhaven got laid off in October. We're working on plans for an LLC to support making games for certain IPs of ours, since the overhead's fairly low, and may as well.

Shieldhaven and I both turned 32.

I reconciled with an old friend I hadn't spoken to in years, and we're on okay terms now.

We had Christmas with both sets of our parents here in NC, and it was really quite nice!

I am now 33 1/2 weeks pregnant. We are naming the boy William Miles Vance Stoddard, and calling him Miles. He is very wriggly. I am finding it nearly impossible to get comfortable anywhere, and as a result, am working from home a lot. I am still quite unreasonable and prone to violent expressions of hatred, though mostly kept internal, and certainly not directed at my husband, who is about as wonderful and attentive and awesome and patient as one could hope for a spouse to be. I am delighted to be getting used to this.

Tonight, Shieldhaven is running a Birthright game for me, and I am eating a pomegranate and all is really quite well, for right now, this moment.

Love to all of you out there, and here.

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feels: content content

5 sayings or Learn to say the same thing.
caudelac
I got a lovely Labyrinth Fic!! Hooray!

Merry Christmas to all of you out there, and here.

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feels: good good

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caudelac
I went and looked back through this date in all of the 12 years I've had this thing, and I don't care to list the ones where I posted, so no meme there.

Also, I was going to do a meme of posting the first lines of several unfinished stories... but there are so very many. So very.

It is December, but not as cold as it could be. Zzzzzz.

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caudelac
over how badly I would like a nap right now.

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caudelac
To say something here for some days.

Something!

Do I feel better? I feel a little better. I'm reading The Girl Who Flew Over Fairyland And Cut the Moon In Two by cmvalente and also Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone at the moment, when I have enough brain to read. Usually, I am playing games of varying degrees of silliness. The newest of which is Flight Rising, since haikujaguar tipped us off they were taking sign-ups earlier this week. I want to write a post on my gaming blog about player economy in browser games, but. Like so many things.

And there's Dust to Dust in a couple of weeks, and me with props to build.

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feels: blank blank

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caudelac
I signed up for Yuletide again. I have no clue why I bother. I must hate myself. Or rather, because I spend so much of the year unable to finish anything; the one time I can usually force myself to complete a story-- even a fanfic-- is, well, something. I'm sure pregnancy and it's brain-sucking powers won't interfere at all.

In the meantime, for the poor, sad sucker who got stuck with my requests...

A letter for you.Collapse )

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